I think it’s about someone who’s in love, who’s either just been rejected (unrequited love), or absolutely sure that the girl doesn’t love her back (insecure maybe). It’s a song about being desperately in love, whilst being absolutely sure the girl doesn’t love you.
The recurring sentences are:
“I wish I was special You’re so fucking special”
“But I’m a creep I’m a weirdo What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here”
(for the next interpretation I’ll assume he’s not been rejected, but just thinks he would be)
In the first part it’s about how he’s sure that he’ll be rejected because he’s not special, or he wants to be special so she might love him, because why would a girl so fucking special want someone who isnt even the slightest special? In any case his ‘specialness’ is nothing compared to the girl, who is like an angel.
Who the hell is he for even thinking he could even be with her? She’s so fucking special and he’s not. This is why he thinks he’s just a creep and weirdo. It’s portraying a feeling of self-loath, low self esteem. She could never love him; why the hell does he even try? What the hell is he doing here, he doesn’t belong in this game of love with her. He wants to get rid of this feeling of love, since it’s not gonna happen anyways.
My opinion anyways. How I interpretated it. As for the verses:
The first verse is mainly about how he fell in love, to show how much he loves the girl. A tribute to the girl, since whatever the case, even though he ‘knows’ he could never be with the girl, he loves her with all his heart.
As for the third verse (I don’t care if it hurts); he wants to have:
Control over his mind, his heart, his feelings. So he could get over this agonizing insecurity, this feeling of hopelessness, or control so he could do better with her. A perfect body and soul in the hope that that could make her love him, he’s insecure and loathes all of his imperfections, he just wants to be perfect.
He wants the girl to notice when he’s not around how much he loves her. Just to notice everything he feels, everything that is keeping him busy.
As for the running part, I think he’s picturing the girl rejecting him, getting scared by him or the situation, and running away from his confession of love.
Either that, or the last 3 verses are about the rejection: He confesses his love The girl is shocked and can’t answer, is scared, afraid, and runs away. He still loves her, still feels the same, but again, what is he doing here, loving this girl, confessing his love, playing this one-sided game of love.
He doesn’t belong there, he just wants to get away from it all.
Thanks for reading, love the song. Don’t hate me for it btw, but I prefer honey mustards cover. The running part was never my fave, and I love how he emphasises the third verse: “I want me one of those, Brand new perfect souls” <3
Jin over and out.